The Reality of Cancer

My heart has been heavy the last couple of days. Allie Armstrong, a college friend and sister in Christ, lost her battle to Leukemia on Monday. It's hard to put into words the emotions that I have been feeling. I've been very raw...realizing that cancer really does suck! I'm not one for language, but that adequately conveys just how I feel about cancer. It just doesn't make sense. Cancer really does take dear loved ones; that reality breaks my heart! My friend Allie showed such strength, such hope and resolve in the Lord despite a dim outlook. She battled hard and continued to do life for 18 long months--in and out of hospitals, living at MD Anderson getting treatment and trying different trial drugs. All this while being away from her three young daughters and husband while being treated. I remember the feeling of isolation and the guilt for not being able to be a mom or wife. I remember watching the world go on around me and feeling so disillusioned by my body--wanting to be in the moment, but unable to physically do it. I imagine that is likely how she felt, but to a much greater extent. I know she is free of the intense chemo drugs, the awful side-effects of cancer. For that I am thankful, she is able to sit at the feet of Jesus!! My heart still mourns deeply and desperately for her husband, her sweet, young daughters--only 8, 5, and 3, her parents, and her friends. This just doesn't seem right in my head. I know that the Lord can handle our broken hearts. He is in the business of caring for widows and orphans. He is celebrating Allie's homecoming. I'm glad I serve a God that can deal with my raw emotions and remind me that He is still God. His ways are not mine. I will trust Him still. Please pray for the Armstrong and Kura families! May Allie's light continue to shine and her faith in Jesus inspire others.